Low Self-esteem and Confidence
Self-esteem is a term used to describe a person’s overall subjective sense of personal value. Put simply, it is the degree to which someone likes themselves, regardless of the circumstances. Low self-esteem is a common difficulty for many people. People with low self-esteem tend to lack confidence and doubt their abilities and decision-making processes. Furthermore, people with low self-esteem tend to be have a more fragile sense of self that can easily be upset by others, and are also more hypersensitive to signs of rejection and inadequacy.
Childhood experiences significantly contribute to the development of our self-esteem, and the experiences we have over our lifetime, both positive and negative, can influence our self-esteem.
A common experience for those who have low self-esteem is having a strong inner critical voice – a voice in one’s head that harshly judges and criticises themselves. Having a negative self-perception can have significant consequences for one’s wellbeing. Individuals with a negative self-view often believe others are judging, disapproving, or rejecting them, even when this is not the case in reality. This can lead to one avoiding interactions with others, reacting defensively, feeling angry, exuding negativity, bullying others, and lashing out.
A key problem in our society that directly influences and impacts a person’s self-esteem is comparing oneself to others. We live in world with so much competition. There seems to be an unspoken message (or spoken, at times) in our society that we need to be “above average” to feel good about ourselves. But the truth is, is that there is always going to be someone who is more successful, wealthy, attractive, lucky, and the list goes on. The rise of social media has exacerbated this problem of comparison, as it allows people a platform to share a very narrow, filtered, and calculated self-representation that is often far from reality.
The healthiest type of self-esteem is based more on valuing one’s internal worth as a person, rather than comparing oneself to others. When we measure ourselves against others and evaluate ourselves based on external achievements, our self-esteem becomes negatively impacted. It can leave one feeling incapable, inferior, unworthy, and not good enough.
Therapy can help to improve one’s self-esteem and confidence by exploring and enhancing one’s understanding about what has contributed to a person’s negative beliefs, increase feelings of worthiness, increase self-compassion and acceptance, and improve one’s overall happiness in life.