Slowing down and turning inwards
“The best way out is always through”
The start of COVID-19 felt for me, at least, like my experience before-during-and after a long-haul flight:
apprehension – waiting at the gates to board and wondering if I’ve packed everything I need
nervousness - hoping that the flight goes smoothly and lands safely
acceptance – “Claire, you are now up in the air and you have no control over the wind direction, so sit back, breathe, and ride the wave of turbulence”
sense of ease – finally flying above the clouds and enjoying a cup of tea and snacks while I flick through the duty-free magazine
indecisiveness - too many movies and series to choose from
lack of focus and easily distracted - switching between watching a movie, reading a book, doing Sudoku, and trying to get the air-hostess’ attention to get some water
feeling fidgety, restless, and needing to move my body - walking down the aisles every now and then and doing some stretches at the rear of the aircraft
feeling trapped – craving some fresh air
tiredness - finally landed, waited 30 minutes in the customs line and another 30 minutes for luggage, and then walked to find a taxi to the hotel
Now that you’ve got a little insight into some of my own (and most likely many other people’s) thoughts and feelings that may arise on when travelling via a plane… let’s get back to topic.
For many people, COVID-19 has been an anxiety-provoking experience. It has been a time of fluctuating emotions, thoughts, behaviours, and questions. Using the flight analogy above, travelling in a plane shuts us off from the external world… similar to the COVID-19 restrictions which have been experienced by most people around the world at least once, if not several times throughout this pandemic.
So why do we experience such a vast range of emotions when we are restricted to the external world?
Because a key element that serves as a source of satisfaction, abundance, distraction, or perhaps a time-filler for many of us, is in fact, the external world (such as going to the office, to the gym, socialising, or travel).
During this pandemic, you may have found and continue to find yourself feeling pressured to DO and achieve, yet are still left feeling like you’re not making progress. If you find that these feelings are leading you to be self-critical…then this article is for you.
Overwhelm
I recently listened to a Ted Talk by Elizabeth Gilbert “It’s OK to feel overwhelmed” which really struck a chord with myself and led me into a reflective process.
During this unprecedented time with COVID-19, a general message that seems to be circulating social media, blogs, articles, and so forth is to view this as an opportunity rather than a hindrance – to follow your passion and get creative, or to find your true purpose in life. Typically, reframing one’s mindset from something more negative (i.e. a limitation) to something more open and positive (i.e. an opportunity) is helpful and proactive. However, where it might become more problematic for some people is when we start to think about what the counter-message to ‘finding your purpose’ might be for some
We may be feeling that
we’re not doing enough
we’re not doing life right
that we’re supposed to be uncovering some particular talent that we have but aren’t yet aware of.
What these string of thoughts do is firstly places significant pressure on ourselves to keep doing and achieving, and by default, we turn to our external world with the hope to experience feelings happiness, value, and wholeness.
However, the focus on the external world can often lead to an increase in self-critical and self-defeating thoughts, which in turn exacerbates anxiety, low mood, and a sense of general dissatisfaction.
Stop and be curious
Whilst this is a fantastic time to work towards achieving goals or ticking off those tasks that one has been procrastinating, this is also a beautiful moment in time to stop and be curious.
To find some distance from our default mode which is to do do do, and instead, connect with our being.
Turn inwards
When your internal voice next perks up and instructs you to continue with that work project, exercise goal, or whatever else it may be, I wonder if you can try and put those thoughts to the side, and instead become curious about what it is that’s in-front of you and that you have access to in that present moment… which is you. See this as an opportunity to connect with your internal world - how are you feeling, what are you needing? It’s likely that what you’re needing in that very moment, is not to go back to your busy schedule and goal list, but rather a basic human fundamental need such as:
connection
sleep
a nourishing meal
some form of exercise or movement
You might even find that turning inwards rather than choosing to do and achieve leaves you feeling more nourished, satisfied, and calm.
Avoid unrealistic expectations
For those of you who are working towards specific goals or picking up on some of those tasks that have been put to the side, often it’s our mindset or underlying beliefs that can be unhelpful. We tend to place high, and at times, unrealistic expectations on ourselves and can dip into an all-or-nothing mindset. A more helpful way to achieve goals during this time and all-round is to set a goal and slowly work towards achieving it. Unpack the goal into small, realistic and achievable steps.